Maybe this is why I'm exhausted

"The Gift of Life, and Its Price" focuses on the risks of carrying twins after IVF, bookending some discussion of the financial costs of prematurity with two scary anecdotes about twins born early. The writer manages to ignore almost entirely the notion that insurance coverage for IVF, and the single-embryo transfers that would consequently become much more prevalent, could dramatically reduce the incidence of preterm birth after ART. Julie on "A Little Pregnant" blogged about 3 articles (this is one of them and the italics are her words) in last weeks' NY Times and the subsequent comments that went with it. I managed to stay away from the comments until now and indeedy my head exploded by the time I skimmed to page 3.

Infertiles are caught in a dilemma of proportions that no one else can understand. Who the hell are these people to be telling anyone who's infertile to "grow up and accept you can't have kids", "adopt a puppy", "adopt from the foster care system". What?!?!   I'm not even going to go on or else my head will explode for a second time.  Granted, the comments section of an article is the perfect place to be vitriolic since no one really knows who you are. 

Adoptive Families magazine started a forum. It's supposed to be supportive of all parties but I can't go there anymore.  In that forum are adult adoptees who are vehemently against adoption and love to tell those of us who are adopting that we're doing irreperable damage.  They would rather "preserve the family".  Doesn't that sound so pretty and desirable?  Ok, get rid of newborn adoption.  How long before the sharp increase in abortions?  How long before social services around the country are overwhelmed with an increase in cases where they have to remove a child from the parents' care?

My favorite of all time is the "adopt from foster care" demand.  I'm not helping anyone unless I adopt a child from foster care?  Really.  Because I'm so equipped to deal with abuse, neglect and attachment disorders in older children.  I'm not.  Other people are.  Give me some fucking credit for knowing what I can and cannot handle.  Assholes.

And...this has been bothering me all week.  I know that there are going to be people who are against adoption or fertility treatments and it really bothers me that all these people think it's their right to interfere or comment about the way I build my family. 

Here's the one thing that none of these people realize or care to learn.  The world is not black and white.