Something I Want To Post on F-B, But I'll Write Here Instead

Knowing that my F-B friends by and large think that my grief and pain over infertility is "fixed" by having a baby, I think I won't bother them with this status update:

"A Reproductive Endrocrinologist told me that after 5 years of not preventing, a pregnancy should have happened by now.  Given that I've gone through three medicated IUI cycles and year and half of intensive acupunture, plus temping and timing, I'm going to go ahead and state that adopting a baby did not make me fertile."

I sit here with mittleschmerz (love that word even though the actual event sucks ass) on my right side indicating that my cycle is right on time (CD14) I am textbook if there ever was a textbook cycle.

Oh, and yeah, I'm angry with the general public and their misconceptions and perceptions of infertility and adoption.  I'm angry with my inner circle and their misconceptions and perceptions of infertility and adoption.  I want to scream and shout and make them understand that everything they think about infertility and adoption is f***king wrong.

Well, in 7'ish days I'll be starting my testing.  At this point, I want to get the tests done, have the follow-up visit to learn what's going and then walk away.  I kind of want to walk away now, but the fact that I actually followed through with the consultation makes me think I need to power through the next few weeks before closing the door for good.