Angry Geo-Chick

It's not pretty.  Funny enough, I can't even tell you how many times I have told myself not to blog while angry with a couple of glasses of wine in me.  I can't follow my own advice!

Anyway, yesterday, Father's Day, was the WORST Fat.her's Day on record for me.  Honestly, I could give a flying f--- that it's for the dad's and all that.  I woke up pissed off, got into an argument with S before he left for his bike ride, was angry at my in-laws, which translated into being a b*tch when we went over to their house for lunch.  Ran home from lunch to prep dinner because I thought we were feeding my parents after my Jaz.zercise class, only to get a text at 4pm (25 minutes before class) that they were going to eat prior to coming over.  Then, my brother apparently can't communicate with me, and as we were feeding X and needing to put him to bed (he didn't get a good nap because of the lunch-time schedule, which ticked me off even more) brother2 decides that he to is going to pop by and texts my mother.  Not me.  Seriously.

Soon, we have to go on vacation and stay in the same house as my parents (I had a hotel room, but when Baby A came along I cancelled it thinking we better save some money.  Maybe I'll try to find something last minute, but when people schedule their weddings around July 4, it's less likely I'll find something).  There (as always) is more family drama playing out that I'm not exactly privy to, but I know there's some swirling ridiculousness.  And, there will be a surprise bridal shower for my cousin getting married in the fall.  How many people on the guest list?  70.  Where will it be held?  My aunt's backyard.  Can't wait.

So, why was I pissed off on Fat.her's Day?  According to Therapist, the type of grief we are going through doesn't follow the "normal" grief pattern.  And shit will just trigger even if I was feeling fine one day, the next day might suck ass.  That was yesterday.  I didn't want to see anyone.  I wanted to do stuff around the house.  There was nothing relaxing about the day.  Nothing got accomplished, and we have to go back to the in-laws next weekend for birthdays!  S and I at least agreed on one thing yesterday.  Next year, forget it.  Mo.ther's Day and Fat.her's Day are OURS.  We have to take back our May and June.  May is my nephews b-day, my b-day, Mot.her's Day and X's b-day.  June is Fath.er's Day, S's b-day and sis-in-law's b-day.  Every goddamn weekend is taken up by this shit and I'm done with it.  I say we dump my birthday, have everyone over for X's birthday party and leave it at that.  I'll freaking mail Mo.ther's Day cards as my idea of Moth.er's Day is not to run all over town, or to play hostess.  June - One day for Fa.ther's day and the two birthdays.  That's it.  We want to go camping and do some fun outdoor stuff before fire bans kick in and we always miss it because of family obligations.