Why I Dragged Us Into the Clinic

I wrote all these posts as we went along with the testing. Then we got derailed by the failed placement and it was just recently that we finally got our act together for the regrouping meeting with the doctor. 





The lack of diagnosis for me is almost crippling.  I do not have the personality to be able to deal with it effectively and it was the driving force for going back.  The other thing my therapist brought up, was whether I just want a baby and any way said baby comes along is fine with me, or do I really just want to march down the adoption road.  As it turns out, the unresolved infertility crap was doing a number on me, and the fact that at the time we started talking about it, our adoption wait was looking like 3+ years and I was pissed.  So, after discussion with S, we decided, hey, if it happens, it happens and started timing cycles again.  I insisted on the testing to get an idea of where we are, and to hopefully get an answer.  The answer is...there is no answer.  The chance that an IVF cycle would be diagnostic is not enough to put us through that emotionally or financially. 

Adoption it is.  The possibilty of making a permanent change so that I forget about cycles forever is dancing around in my mind.  But, I won't address that until after the adoption is successful.