You should do this!

That's something that shouldn't be said to an adoptive mom when referring to adoptive breast feeding.

Why ?

A) it was brought up in our adoptive parent training and many adoption books mention it. If you have never heard of it, then chances are you are blessedly fertile.  Oh, and what do you think the term wet-nurse refers to?

B)  it's assuming that an adoptive  mom would naturally want to breast feed despite the fact that her reproductive organs have failed time and again. 

C)  sure, some adoptive moms do it, but like breast feeding a child you carried, it's an intensely personal journey that works for some and not for others. 

D)  how do you know that the person you are passing this amazing news onto hasn't already tried and failed?

E) do you know the crazy shit you have to go through to force your body to lactate?  Oh right, probably not because you didn't have to do it. 

E). Me?  It was never something I wanted to do. 

So, thank you for your well meaning, yet totally out of line referral to a lactation specialist. I'll keep the information in case I come across a fellow adoptive mom who wants to go for it.