GET REAL already - Who Needs it?

I'm woefully behind on the clutter challenge, delving into emotions behind clutter.  Eh, here goes.

Well, I'm feeling irritated that I even have to write this post, which probably points to how I approach the clutter, specifically the attic nightmare.  I get frustrated that I can't just get rid of stuff that I obviously haven't looked at in years.  and years.  and years.  So, let's break down some of that stuff I'm hanging onto that I know is lurking up there:

  • My sorority paddle and some other sorority related stuff.  I don't have a clue what emotions are tied to that stuff.  I don't participate in sorority activities as an alumna and well, could care less about that stuff these days.
  • College textbooks.  Why do I need to keep around these things that are door stops?  The way I felt about the school that kicked my ass all over the place for 5 years, you'd think that I'd have had a bonfire to celebrate getting out of there intact.
  • Ballet gear.  I still have a couple pairs of tights, leotards, leg warmers, pointe shoes and soft ballet shoes hanging out up there.  All left over from when I was a dancer, and then from when I tried to get back into it after college.  It didn't work, as I can't handle seeing my heavier body in a full length mirror dressed in a leotard, with no turnout, no extension, and well...let's just say I suck at ballet in my old age.  But, I can't let go of that stuff.  It was such a huge part of my life for so long that getting rid of it feels like tearing off a piece of myself and throwing it in the trash.  
Overall, I can get a little bit pack-rat-ish and just hang onto stuff just because I want to reminisce I guess.  Except that I never actually take this stuff out.  It just stays in boxes and bags and gets moved around.  Thinking about it makes me feel anxious and tends to throw me back in the mindset of the time when I received said stuff.  Anything related to college elicits feelings of inadequacy, anxiety and depression (didn't realize it then, but now I know I was depressed those years).  Anything related to sorority feels like being in the popular group, but still not one of the popular kids.  Ballet gear represents the one thing I loved doing and never got tired of doing.  There's so many fond memories of performing that I can't quite let go of the stuff that represents.

There's a bunch more crap up there that needs to be sorted through and tossed, but in general, I just get annoyed by it more than anything.  I get annoyed that I don't know whether it should stay or go, and when I start trying to go through the stuff I usually give up and start stacking it up neatly so that it looks like it's "out of the way".  Time to get rid of everything we don't need or use!