Hi, I’m Tara.

What started out as a private blog to document our adoption journey has evolved into my journey through therapy, spiritual awakening and whatever I feel like writing. Without our struggles to build a family, I’m not sure I’d be waking up, and for that I’m grateful.

Random Thoughts And An Update

H miscarried yesterday.  :(

Last night we popped open a bottle of wine.  On a Wednesday.  It's a more common occurrence than I care to admit these days.  I'm kind of bummed I didn't get a miracle pregnancy and S is pissed off at an insensitive dude at work.  This guy has known for a long time about our troubles yet bitches about his TWO kids non-stop.  Apparently yesterday S was in a conversation with this guy and a younger guy (single mind you).  Mr. Insensitive told Mr. Single to never have kids.   In front of S.  Ah, the beauty of not thinking before you speak.  And that brought us to the realization that although this is a bitch of a bumpy road it's improved our relationship a hundredfold and we will probably appreciate our kid(s) far more than if we had easily gotten pregnant.

Anyone watch Mo.dern Fa.mily?  I'm horrible at explaining scenes so you'll have to see it sometime if you're curious.  Suffice it to say I'm the red-headed man of our relationship.  There was one scene where the two guys are trying to deal with becoming insta-parents through adoption and the red-headed guy (see, I don't even remember character's names!) is freaking out that he'll be a horrible parent and that the baby likes the other guy better than him...etc. etc.  S looked at me and started laughing hysterically "That's you!".  

I finally read the breast cancer guide in my October magazine.  I can't have children so I have a higher risk of breast cancer.  I'm a moderate drinker which also increases my risk of breast cancer.  Great.  I can't even enjoy the fact that I can drink during my fake pregnancy!

We've now been waiting 6 months and 2 days according to my new little ticker at the bottom of the blog.  Yeah, that will drive me nuts and we'll see how long it lasts.

Tonight we're going to a murder mystery dinner with our other childless (by choice) friends.  Everyone else is staying home with their families.  Times they have changed.

What Is A Murder Mystery Dinner Like Anyway?