Hi, I’m Tara.

What started out as a private blog to document our adoption journey has evolved into my journey through therapy, spiritual awakening and whatever I feel like writing. Without our struggles to build a family, I’m not sure I’d be waking up, and for that I’m grateful.

Learning to Draw the Line

Last night I went to dinner with some  acquaintances.  I say acquaintances because this is a monthly dinner and I typically don't hang out with most of these ladies outside of the once-a-month girls night.  But, the organizer has been TTC for a year and a half, and one of her friends has been trying for almost three years, and then there's me.  Lately during these dinners there's been at least 20 minutes of so of conversation regarding infertility and adoption.  Because I had news and I'm horrible at keeping shit to myself sometimes (although very proud of myself for not calling my mother immediately after we got the call) I told them about the call.  Now, I had told my supervisor earlier in the day about the call to keep him up to date and enforce the fact that I literally could be gone within days of getting the next call.  And that had gone well with minimal information.  But supervisors can't ask detailed questions and they don't care to either.  Other women who don't know anything about adoption (and may be considering it) ask questions.  I hate to admit it but I slipped a little and I should've changed the subject or cut them off at the pass.  *sigh*

I'm now practicing this line for future use:

"I'm sorry, I know you're curious, but the details are a private matter only to be revealed to our child."......over and over and over....

S went to his parent's house for dinner last night and brought them the book Adoption is a Family Affair.  I read it earlier this week and it's a decent book for just getting people on the same page.  The whole purpose of the dinner was for him to sit down with his parents and tell them what this experience has been like for him/us.  We haven't really had that on his side of the family because they're not ones to talk about their feelings.  I'm glad he decided to do it (not my suggestion!) and it sounds like he tried really hard to get across to them that the whole journey has been difficult for us.  Especially watching his sister easily have another kid.  Like we needed to hear how annoyed she was that she was pregnant before we took a family vacation to Maz.atlan!  (I drank a lot on that trip)

Good thing the mountains didn't get snow at all this week.  Well, it's bad and I'm frustrated, but we need to stay home and address some of our lack of planning.  I sense a trip to B.R.U. looming.  Anyone know of other stores that are good around Denver, especially for furniture?  S's mom offered to buy our crib so maybe I should start looking even though we'll start out with a bassinet in our room.  I'm definitely more of the "get everything in order and feel prepared" type.  After this week, I can convince S that we need to get moving!

I hope the agency found a match for the expectant mother.  Before anyone gets all up in arms at me for not saying "or that she decides to parent",  this does not appear to be one of those cases.  I believe that adoption should only happen in the case that an expectant mother truly can't or feels she can't take care of the child.  Ack, I'm getting all defensive and I haven't even been attacked yet.

Perfect Moment Monday - Crackers

Not Meant To Be And No. 32