Hi, I’m Tara.

What started out as a private blog to document our adoption journey has evolved into my journey through therapy, spiritual awakening and whatever I feel like writing. Without our struggles to build a family, I’m not sure I’d be waking up, and for that I’m grateful.

Not Meant To Be And No. 32

Well, after spending most of yesterday afternoon/evening in a tizzy, S brought me back to reality.  The situation is too risky for us, and he wants to make sure that if we agree to show our profile that we are ready to go all the way barring the unexpected.  In this case we weren't.  I'm a little bummed that we're saying no but this brief experience has brought to light several facts:

1.  We thought we had filled the checklist out conservatively.  After reviewing it again last night, we're still comfortable with our answers so maybe we aren't so conservative after all. 

2.  We're No. 32 on the list.   I guess I have to start my game over again, now I'll try to make it to April before asking for an update.  heh heh.

3.  We're actually going to be parents someday.  I'm pretty sure that both of us were still thinking about becoming parents in some sort of nebulous fashion complete with unicorns and rainbows.  This call brought us back to Earth.

4.  I need to find a pediatrician!  I have several potentials but I was thinking I could wait until spring.  Apparently not.

5.  We still haven't addressed the minor issues in our house that are supposed to be fixed by the time we have placement.
6.  I need to keep better records of what I'm doing at work.  Honestly, after telling my boss a few weeks ago that it was looking like we weren't going to have placement until at least next fall (and that still may be the case) I was going to feel like such a tool if I had to go traipsing into his office next week and say "Uh, so our baby is being born in about two weeks"  Yeah, that would suck.

7.  I need to stay calm if we get this type of call again.  bwahahahahaha!

*whew*  I'm tired.

Learning to Draw the Line

An Interesting Turn of Events