Hi, I’m Tara.

What started out as a private blog to document our adoption journey has evolved into my journey through therapy, spiritual awakening and whatever I feel like writing. Without our struggles to build a family, I’m not sure I’d be waking up, and for that I’m grateful.

Adoption Baby Showers *edited*

Public Service Announcement (cue music)

When you have an adoption baby shower before you are matched or have the baby be sure to somehow convey that fact on the invites.

...the more you know....

I'm up to at least five of these types of messages "Oh, I'm so happy for you guys, are you getting a boy or a girl!?!?", or "Just got your invite, so do you have news?"

Uh, not so much.  I thought that just past the year mark would be a good time to really think about putting the nursery together.  Plus my aunts wanted to come out for it and they have school-year-related jobs so the summer was a great time.  Plus my mom-in-law, sis-in-law and mom are super excited to throw a shower.

In the pit of my stomach I feel like a fraud.  Like I don't deserve to have a baby shower before there is real live evidence that there is a baby.  There's no belly to measure with toilet paper or talk about kicking and hiccups and boob soreness or stretch marks or any of the oh so fun parts of pregnancy.  I'm still me.  Still hitting happy hour.  Still jumping around.  Still doing field work.  Yep, pretty much no evidence of a baby anywhere except on a little piece of paper.  So what the hell is anyone going to talk about at my party?  They can't regale me with labor stories, or what to do post partum, or any of that stuff.  I'll betcha' $100 it'll still come up in the form of "aren't you lucky to not get fat or stretch marks or hemm.rhoids". 

Maybe I should frame the letter that "officially" makes us expectant parents and display it at the shower.

*edit*  Ok, so I'm a cranky girl right now.  I know everyone's excited for us but sometimes my head goes a little wonky.  The vacillating between being excited and freaking out may have more to do with the level of stress I have at work than with anything regarding baby.  S has it down right.  He leaves work and does an admirable job of putting it out of his head.  I think about it constantly.  Good thing I didn't marry someone like me.

Perfect Moment Monday - Gardening

Work - Ugh