I'm excited to finally have time to participate again. Here's the lowdown:
My husband, whom I refer to as S here, and I are adopting in the state of Colorado through an agency. Colorado has some pretty strict adoption laws (from my cursory evaluation of other states) and it's a double edged sword. While I'm happy that we have to go through agencies, and certain avenues like using a facilitator is illegal, I have a feeling it makes our wait much longer. See, double edged sword! I like to think that mothers are not coerced, or at least there's much less of that going on here but I chafe against our wait daily.
The wait: We completed our homestudy and were approved for adoption over 14 months ago. Our agency experienced an extremely slow period right as we got on the list. It has since picked up and we are currently number 21. Most of the matching occurs in the first 12-15 couples so we still have a ways to go but at least we're on the backside of the waiting curve.
To shower or not shower? I decided to act like every other 'expectant' mom and my family threw me a baby shower this summer. It ended up being a bad idea. Don't get me wrong, my mom throws a great party and what other baby shower has beer? However, we had just updated our homestudy, I was in a funk, and the whole thing felt forced to me. After this experience, I don't recommend having a shower before you're matched.
Friends having babies: Currently we are being lapped by several friends who started TTC way after us. They are on their second round of babies. Yesterday I got a birth announcement from someone I didn't even know was pregnant. I hate that.
*edit* If you have a question for me, leave it in comments and I'll answer this week. Helps give me something to talk about since I'm grasping lately. Not much happens when you're waiting.