Hi, I’m Tara.

What started out as a private blog to document our adoption journey has evolved into my journey through therapy, spiritual awakening and whatever I feel like writing. Without our struggles to build a family, I’m not sure I’d be waking up, and for that I’m grateful.

Number 17 (still)

I caved.  I really really try to make it 2 months before asking for an update but these days I can hardly go two weeks without wondering what's going on.  I chatted with our caseworker for a few minutes and found out that there's been matching below us on the list because of extreme circumstances, and that several of the placements they've had this year have been designated.  (A designated placement is when prospective adoptive parents meet an expectant mom outside of the agency.  In CO you have to use an agency so they end up having to find an agency, or maybe they were already on the list).  Since we're all in the same pool, there's movement on the list when a designated placement occurs but it doesn't mean much for those of us who don't have designations. They would skip the designated families in the matching process.

We've been profiled but not chosen.  Now it really is just a matter of the right set of circumstances, that one little thing that stands out in our letters or video, and we'll have a match.  One of these days.

Ready....or Not? (no match, don't get excited)

Flabbergasted. And Not in a Good Way