Hi, I’m Tara.

What started out as a private blog to document our adoption journey has evolved into my journey through therapy, spiritual awakening and whatever I feel like writing. Without our struggles to build a family, I’m not sure I’d be waking up, and for that I’m grateful.

...Life Goes On and Number 10

This is the post I started writing two days ago then  discovered I didn't have the pics I wanted so I didn't publish it:
Each week is stretching longer and longer for us.  We've been working steadily on the nursery which probably isn't helping our mood, but somehow having an empty room was worse than hauling all the baby furniture out of the attic.  So, it's pretty much finished except for some decorating touches like window coverings and doorknobs for the closets.  I did have a little bit of fun at a store designing shelving for the closets.  Luckily I went in on a really cold day and was bundled up enough that I don't think I didn't look pregnant.  Being in no mood to discuss adoption at the time I kept my coat buttoned and let the designer assume whatever it was she wanted to assume when I said I needed to design closets for a nursery.  It was somewhat refreshing to not launch into a discussion of anything besides the task at hand.  S got the closets put together (super easy, I love this stuff even though you end up with a pretty industrial looking set up) and today I took all the baby shower and hand-me-downs that we've been collecting over the six months down to the room to put away.  There's so much room left in the closets I almost don't know what to do with it.  I'm sure once future-baby is here they'll fill up fast.

Here's some pics of the bedroom transformation:  (oops, dead camera battery)

I fully expected to be finishing it up today, and cursing my pessimism as I've reached new heights (lows?) of "glass totally empty" thinking.  As luck would have it, this will be a slightly different post as I received a heart pounding, cold sweat inducing, voicemail from our caseworker.  After sweating it out over lunch, I called back fully expecting to hear that we’ve been matched.  Imagine my chagrin when she only had a couple of checklist items that needed clarification.  Crashing back to earth, I dutifully answered the questions in a sing-songy cheerful voice.  Staying positive!  ha.  Near the end of the conversation, she revealed that the questions were specific to a set of expectant parents and they were keeping us from being profiled.  As it turns out they were minor issues and we will be profiled to the parents.  (this news practically sent me dancing a jig around the conference room)  On top of that, someone called to inquire about us because of our profile on the agency’s website.   (We put up our blurb on the site knowing that it was a long shot but apparently people look at it!)

Our prospects are certainly picking up, especially since we've made it to the coveted front page of the agency's list.  

Still, I'm a pessimist at heart.  Trying not to get excited...

yeah, right.

p.s.  I'll post pics of the nursery transformation soon now that the camera battery is recharged.

The Nursery Transformation

Writer's Block