Hi, I’m Tara.

What started out as a private blog to document our adoption journey has evolved into my journey through therapy, spiritual awakening and whatever I feel like writing. Without our struggles to build a family, I’m not sure I’d be waking up, and for that I’m grateful.

Made It Through

Friday night we went to a colleague of mine's house for a party.  It was quite amusing.  His co-workers all standing around talking and the rest of his and his wife's friends standing around talking.  Us engineers really don't know how to socialize.  :)  We also stopped by S's sister's house, bringing her and her husband dinner since their kitchen is out of commission due to a remodel.  During the course of dinner we were apprised of our nephews' birthday present.  He asked for a pet he can call his own (apparently the 2 family dogs aren't enough) and mom and dad didn't want to get him another dog, which is what he really wants.  So, they went smaller, and on the advice of the so-called experts at the pet stores our nephew is now the proud owner of a pet rat.  R.a.t.   Yep. 

Saturday I managed to get in a workout, a few hours of work, then we went to a party at our friends who live way out east.  It was fun to see some people we haven't seen for a few months, but there were lots of kids.  It was pretty tough to see the kids and to have some of my supposed 'friends' not even bother to ask us about the adoption.  And these are people we haven't talked to in months.

Today I managed to finish painting the walls of the laundry room and endure lunch at S's parents' and dinner at my parents.  I'm pretty annoyed at S's parents because they didn't ask how we are doing.  They just blithely act like everything is fine, get S's sister a mother's day gift and I get to share a cake with our nephew for our birthdays.  Apparently, since we were celebrating my birthday that should be enough for me.  It's not surprising, they hardly have acknowledged anything about our fertility issues or adoption even when S tries to talk to them about it.  Don't get me wrong, they're excited about a baby but they don't even try to find out how we're handling it or how we feel or anything about the process.  They couldn't even read the tiny little adoption book we gave them.  It pisses me off.  My parents aren't the greatest about all this stuff either.  But, I understand my parents way better than I understand his parents.  You know?

All in all I don't think I did too badly, but keeping the bitchiness under wraps sure was a pain in my ass.

Managing Expectations

The Weekend