Hi, I’m Tara.

What started out as a private blog to document our adoption journey has evolved into my journey through therapy, spiritual awakening and whatever I feel like writing. Without our struggles to build a family, I’m not sure I’d be waking up, and for that I’m grateful.

What's Been Happening 'Round These Parts

Gee, I was doing so well.  Then I started getting tired, and here it is, 9:46pm, I should have been in bed a while ago, but this is the only time I can find to write.  Amazing how that happens with a baby that spends most of the day sleeping, isn't it?

First:  The tiredness.  I actually think we're getting off easy.  Baby X has graduated to only waking up once in the middle of the night, so we have a middle of the night feeding, and then a relatively early feeding.  However, that has screwed up my sleep.  Before, when he woke up twice, S would get the 4:30am to 5:00am feeding before he went to work, and I blissfully slept through it, and Baby X was content to nap a bit longer.  Now, the middle of the night and the morning feeding are totally up to yours truly.  7:30am comes rather quickly when you were just up at 3:30am.  So, I think the whole "I'm so tired I feel stupid thing" is starting now.  Yay.  I try to nap when he naps, but I'm a power napper and 20 minutes is about it for me, so it helps, but not a whole lot.

Second:  Now that we're doing a whole lot more venturing about, let the lame-ass comments fly!  Early on, I got quite a few "You look amazing for just having a baby" from random servers in restaurants as I was ordering a beer.  Those are pretty easy to just say thank you and laugh hysterically in my head while drinking my beer.  Last week was a baby shower at S's workplace.  Very nice, but the 'joke' about having a nursing room (really, the joke is that they are literally bursting at the seams and have no more room in the building) fell rather flat.  They all know the circumstances, yet some lady I've never met thought it was a funny thing to say "If he needs to be fed, we've got a nursing room around here somewhere".  Yeah, I was snarky.  Couldn't help it.  I've also started going to Jazz.ercise again because, a) I missed it a whole lot between physical therapy I was doing and taking a break while I decided to quit teaching, b) because it is seriously the most affordable full-body workout around (yeah, it's my plug, but it's also a fact!), and c) the center I go to has childcare for several classes, score!  I figured I better start getting used to someone else watching my kid, 'cause December is going to come fast.  Anyway, at Jazz.ercise I have had several "I didn't know you were even pregnant, how did I miss that?" types of comments.  Oy.  Just having to explain over and over every time I go in there is tiring.  Hopefully, though, I've been there enough over the past couple of weeks that I'm finally past that stage.  Yeah, right.  They all think he's adorable, of course.  :)

Third:  The monsoonal thunderstorms wreaked havoc in our basement.  Not like standing water, oh shit the furniture is ruined type of havoc, but havoc nonetheless.  So, we had a minor flood, and a friend of mine was staying with us that very weekend after it rained for something like 8 days in a row.  It sucked, but she was a good sport about it.  Now, we have some landscaping to address to try to stop this from happening again, and have to pull up the carpet and possibly knock a hole in the wall to see what kind of damage we're looking at.  Lovely.  I also lost most of my container gardened plants because the half wine barrels didn't have drainage holes (normally not an issue in our hot and dry weather), and one of them literally filled up with water, went anaerobic (read: super stinky) and became a mosquito-breeding paradise.  It was disgusting.

Fourth:  I found out today that I am screwed once I go back to work.  My supervisor called for a couple of things and then gave me the lowdown on my schedule when I get back.  I get to write a report for a dam that I haven't visited (was supposed, but then Baby X came along).  I also get to travel the week I start working again.  That, I knew, the writing of the report, I didn't.  And, there's some other cramming in there somewhere for other projects.  Ah, stuff to look forward to.

Fifth:  Cloth diapers are pretty easy in my humble opinion.  It's turned out that Baby X is quite the wetter, so the microfiber pocket diapers aren't really cutting it.  Thank goodness I didn't go crazy and buy too many of those, especially since I hate trying to get the inserts out after it's been used.  Ick.  The best option has turned out to be cotton or hemp prefolds with covers.  I also find those easiest to drop in the diaper pail.  The other option I like quite a bit are natural fiber fitted diapers with covers too, but that's more expensive so we don't have so many of those.  We'll see, I'm sure it'll be a whole new ball game in a few months when he starts eating more solids.  I'll be counting on flushable liners to work!

So, the fun stuff.  We did professional baby pics when Baby X was 5 weeks old.  It was so much fun, and I love the photographer, and naked baby pics of a skinny and long baby are fucking hilarious.  It's like baby boudoir in a couple of them, especially since he was squirmy and wouldn't keep his legs crossed!  He's waking up more to the world around and staring to vocalize with coos and some funny grunting.  I think the smiles 'for real' have started too although sometimes you can't tell if it's gas or not.  I do think we have the formula situation figured out for now, and the my.licon drops seem to be helping quite a bit.  One of my friends ended up doing goat's milk formula (I have no idea where she got it), but as natural as I want to be, I think I'll let it slide for now then focus on better foods when he goes to solids.  You have to draw the line somewhere on cost.

Ok, off to bed.  I will most definitely be cursing my need to blog in about 3 or 4 hours.  :)

Open Adoption Roundtable #28

Tiptoing through Our Match