Hi, I’m Tara.

What started out as a private blog to document our adoption journey has evolved into my journey through therapy, spiritual awakening and whatever I feel like writing. Without our struggles to build a family, I’m not sure I’d be waking up, and for that I’m grateful.

Beware of the Ranting by an Angry Chick with a Blog


Ah, let me start over.  I need to bitch here so that I don't do it on F-B or bend S's ear anymore.  So, there's been this drama with a long-time friend (10+ years).  Not necessarily a best friend, but a good friend.  S and I hung out with these two all the time, S was in their wedding, we used to ski, happy hours, dinners, yada yada yada.

S had beers with her husband tonight.  They talked about the "rift".  Her husband informed S that I AM NOT HAPPY ENOUGH.  That she thought I'd be all sunshine and fucking blowing rainbows up everyone's asses once I became a mother.  S, one of the more non-confrontational people I know at least told this guy that I'm the happiest I've been in years. Oh, and they had a long discussion about how people don't change, and I'm just the way I've always been.  No shit. (for the record S thinks that her husband is fine with me, it's just her)

Here's the thing, she's not what we would call a happy person.  No one looks to her to be the life of the party.  She's usually whining about how far it is to drive to see some of our friends.  She's complained about another longtime friend she has multiple times.  I mean, for crying out loud one of her recent F-B posts was all about how people with facial tattoos must have mental problems.  Say what?  Who gives a shit about facial tattoos.  Why is that a F-B post?  Argh!

This guy actually thought we would eventually be able to hang out again at parties or something.  Fucking no way.  I know I'm not supposed to be this way, and I've been fighting my urges, but goddammit I leave scorched earth in the wake of former friendships.  I know it's because I expect too much out of people.  Still, she's fucked up everything.  I like her husband, S likes her husband, what the hell are we supposed to do now that she's decided she doesn't like me?  I guess S and her husband will just have to do guy things every once in a while.  Right now, I can't even stand the thought of being in the same room as this bitch.

Since when does becoming a parent make you little miss sunshine instead of who you've always been?

Holiday Redux