Hi, I’m Tara.

What started out as a private blog to document our adoption journey has evolved into my journey through therapy, spiritual awakening and whatever I feel like writing. Without our struggles to build a family, I’m not sure I’d be waking up, and for that I’m grateful.

Pity Party Over

It didn't occur to me that my stats may be skewed by the fact that lots of people (like me) use Rea.der.  I think I'll stop paying attention to them.  I never used to look at them, it's time to go back to that blissful state.  I could make you all click over to my blog by only putting up snippets on reader, but it would probably make me obsessive.  :)

It's funny that I got so worked up over this.  I've actually been stewing for months, but kept telling myself to calm down.  After all, I started this blog to keep up with online friends after I bailed on the message board we were on (way too much drama over something lame).  In my first year of blogging I didn't even really care if other people found it, but it was fun when I found other bloggers to follow and people started following me.  At some point, I guess my expectations shifted and I'm expecting more growth than is warranted.  After all, I put little effort into building my list of followers considering I can't remember the last time I participated in an ICLW.  And, I'm a guilty party in that I'm bad about commenting too!  I can understand that others have the same problem.  Plus, this is a major change.  There's so much drama when it comes to the adoption process or going through cycles that it's compelling and keeps you reading.  Once that changes and you settle into the relative normalcy calmness every day-ness(?) of raising a baby, the edge-of-your-seat drama evaporates.

I'm guilty of reading a post about the adventures with baby  and then just going on to the next blog feeling like that was cool, but I'm not compelled to comment (when I really should leave some kind of comment even if it's short and sweet).  And some people just don't want to read posts about babies if they're still on the other side of the fence.  I can completely understand that, I've been there.

The upshot is, I'm not going to stop blogging.  I rather like it.  I like connecting with people in a different way.  I like blathering writing about my life and relating to others in similar situations.  I just have to accept that if I'm not going to put forth a ton of effort to become more visible, then I'm not going to become more visible, and that's ok.  I also have to find the time to comment on other blogs, because I can't be the only one drifting around the interwebs wondering if anyone is reading my posts.

One way I know I can find time is by relegating F-B to the way, way backseat.  I've started working on it, and I think I've logged on once in the last few weeks, and that was only to look at pictures my cousin posted of her new puppy. Since I've started to ignore it, I find that I'm thinking in status updates less and less often.  I found that as I went through my days, some funny/profound/lame thing would happen and I would immediately start composing a status update in my head.  Seriously!  I figured that it was a sign of having a problem and started logging on less and less, even deleting the app from my phone.  It took a while, but I haven't had the urge to write some funny/mundane/lame status update for a whole week!  Ah, freedom from Zu.cker.bergs grasp!

I Should Be Working...

Comments and Stats....What to Think?