Hi, I’m Tara.

What started out as a private blog to document our adoption journey has evolved into my journey through therapy, spiritual awakening and whatever I feel like writing. Without our struggles to build a family, I’m not sure I’d be waking up, and for that I’m grateful.

I Told Someone

The facts of Baby X's placement haven't been shared with anyone beyond he was 2 weeks old and we have an open adoption.  I told someone more of the story, not much, but more than even our families know.  I think I did it to see if I could talk about C a little more freely because she is part of our family now.  We never shared her age with our families, and I shared that with this person.  Not specific age, but stage of life.  I shared the story about his birth, and the fact that she had to make the decision what to do after he was born.  I shared that this option was the best of a bad situation and it's unfortunate that she had to make this choice at all because of lack of support from those close to her.  And then I shared what I've observed about her situation after seeing and talking to her several times and that's probably where I did it.  Shared too much.

It's so hard to know what to share and what not to share.  I was careful to talk in general terms, and only in terms of what affects us as a family, or our specific interactions with her.  I didn't share the circumstances of his conception or any of the details of her relationship with his birthfather.  That for sure, is not part of our story.  But, being in an open adoption seems to blur the line for me.  I feel like I stepped over it this time, and now I'm trying to figure out what was too much and what what was ok.  I ran it by S (after the fact, because of course it came out during a conversation about infertility and adoption) and he didn't seem to think I revealed too much, but he's also one who doesn't talk about C to anyone beyond saying that we see her every couple of months.  In fact, I think he's even stopped mentioning to his parents when we have a visit coming up.  I wonder if that's the difference between men and women?  Or is it just the difference between being a blabbermouth and knowing when to shut up?

The Internal Conflict - Part 2 - Foster Adopt vs. Newborn Adopt

Being Dragged into the Internet Age