Hi, I’m Tara.

What started out as a private blog to document our adoption journey has evolved into my journey through therapy, spiritual awakening and whatever I feel like writing. Without our struggles to build a family, I’m not sure I’d be waking up, and for that I’m grateful.

I Love This Show

Mo.dern Fam.ily.

So far, it is the only show I've ever seen that deals with adoption in a real way. 

When Cam and Mitchell were super excited to start the process again, I thought, oh no, here we go.  It'll be another storyline to play for laughs and it'll be all kinds of inaccurate.  I wasn't sure I'd be able to keep watching the show.  (Gr.ey's started losing me with the infertility story line, and then there was the ridiculous adoption storyline, when I stopped watching for real, and now on a commercial I see she's pregnant?  WTF)

I was pleasantly surprised when they dealt with the homestudy with humor, showing them totally freaked out by the interviews and inspection.  Sure, it's pretty mundane and a pain in the ass to go through a homestudy, but I for one felt how they were portrayed on the inside!  Wondering if I was talking too much, wondering if I said the wrong thing (I did at one point and brought up something that hadn't come up in background checks because of the length of time and got grilled on it, ugh), wondering if the social worker liked me.  Wondering if she was pissed because I totally forgot to offer something to drink, forget food, at our home inspection.  All of it.

When they were waiting for a long time and jealous of the guys who waited less time?  S and I sat on the couch nodding our heads.

When the match fell through at the hospital?  I wrote this post.  The way it was handled (soap opera notwithstanding), was with a simple explanation.  No bashing of the first-family.  Just grief.  Gut-wrenching grief.  If a match falls through for us, we will be devastated.  I don't know anyone who isn't.  It's not possible to be purely logical when enmeshed in this process.  There's too much emotion wrapped up in our profile, in our video, in our website, in the fact that we are marketing ourselves to build a family.  When someone chooses you, it's elation and excitement tempered by nervousness.  For it to fall through at the last minute, especially if we had known about the match ahead of time and met the expectant parents?  It would be horrible for us.  Knowing that a parent makes the best decision for their child even if that means disappointing us may not temper my initial reaction.  The difference is that I will get over a failed match.  It will be horrible for a short period of time, as portrayed in the show.

The latest episode dealt with trans-racial adoption, racism, bigotry, just about anything that could be thrown at it.  Lily states that she's gay because her daddies are gay.  Why?  Because she wants to be like them, like other families are Italian.  It's revealed that they haven't exactly been keeping up with the cultural aspect of her upbringing and hijinks ensue at a restaurant.  I thought the set-up was perfect.  A gay couple with a Vietnamese daughter and her Colombian step-grandmother manage to insult just about every race and orientation in the space of ten minutes.  It was perfect, pointing out that no matter what, words matter, even if you're trying to say something else.  Think before you speak, and for crying out loud, connect your children to their culture!

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