Time to change that. Baby steps.
One way that I'm finally setting boundaries and limits is in the next adoption wait. I am done fielding the phone calls from the agency, and during our homestudy update meeting, turned that responsibility over to S. Now when they have a question about profiling us, he'll get the initial phone call and be able to decide whether he needs my input or if he can make the call himself. Most of the time I think he'll ask me, since we tend to make decisions together, but at least I won't be getting the lunch time phone call that decimates the rest of my afternoon. He can decimate his. More likely, he'll compartmentalize and be able to continue working, something I wish I could do better. Hopefully, the next phone call will be the one, but I needed to relinquish that control to stay sane no matter what happens next. We also talked to our caseworker about how we feel about the next match. Without question, there will be walls up, and I have a feeling it is going to be difficult to connect with someone during a pre-birth match. We spent so much energy reassuring D, being supportive and understanding, only to have it all fall apart. I can't see expending that much energy again. So, our caseworker has instructions to bring up the failed match with prospective first parents and to let them know that we might seem distant until all papers are signed. It's all we can do.
Baby X is still a pretty picky eater at home, and it goes in phases how picky he is at day care. So, we'll just roll with it for now, offering a variety of foods plus the ones we know he'll eat. Meh. He's gaining weight, so I guess it's fine, plus he'll eat any fruit we put in front of him, so that's at least good.