Hi, I’m Tara.

What started out as a private blog to document our adoption journey has evolved into my journey through therapy, spiritual awakening and whatever I feel like writing. Without our struggles to build a family, I’m not sure I’d be waking up, and for that I’m grateful.


I got nailed by a virus over the weekend.  How lovely that this event occurred when my parents were going to have Baby X overnight Saturday and S and I were going to go downtown for a movie and brewery-hopping.  Instead, my parents had Baby X Saturday night and S and I watched Ghostbus.ters on TV while I bemoaned my fate of fever, chills and cough.  Thankfully, I was able to go to the zoo Saturday morning before it got really bad and we joined some friends and the throngs of little kids in costume for Boo at the Zoo.  Not sure that we'll ever do that again though - it was a madhouse! 

It was so bad Sunday morning, that I decided to go to urgent care to make sure I don't have influenza.  See, yet another side effect of the gov't shutdown is that I haven't gotten my flu shot yet, come to think of it, neither has Baby X because he's sort of had a cold for a month.  So, S dragged my sorry shaking, feverish butt down to urgent care to find out that, nope, not influenza even though it's really acting like it.  All that's left now is to manage symptoms and marvel at how every morning my temperature is higher than the previous morning.  102.4 degrees F today:  I don't think I've had that high of a temp since I was a kid!  I'm on a 600 mg of ibuprofen and cough syrup with code.ine (for when I feel like sleeping) regimen along with the usual lolling around watching crap on TV, reading, making my photobooks (inspired by Josey), when I'm feeling up to it.  Poor S has to wrangle Baby X, whom I'm trying really hard not to breathe on or touch (impossible, really), make dinner, and keep up the house.

I've also learned the pitfalls of storing pics in the digital age.  Somehow, I managed to end up with really low resolution pics from a vacation S and I took in 2011.  Like, so small that the best I can do is put them 12 to a page on a photobook, because any bigger and they'll be blurry.  I haven't the foggiest idea what I managed to do to end up with such low res pics, and I'm really ticked off about it, but the originals are long gone.  If this were good old film, I'd have a box of pictures languishing in the attic, and they would at least be a decent size!

p.s.  I did take down a post that will be reposted when the PAIL list goes up.  Sorry, I don't follow directions well sometimes!

pps.  Thanks for all the suggestions on the NICU support.  Thankfully, my friend was able to take her baby home after a few days so they are not having an extended stay.  Hopefully these suggestions will help others who have friends in the same situation.

Birth Story

How Do I Support Someone Who Has a Baby in the NICU?