Hi, I’m Tara.

What started out as a private blog to document our adoption journey has evolved into my journey through therapy, spiritual awakening and whatever I feel like writing. Without our struggles to build a family, I’m not sure I’d be waking up, and for that I’m grateful.

Annoying Symptoms that Mean Nothing

I'm 95% sure that I'm not pregnant. Yet, in the back of my mind that 5% is a source of wondering.  It's constant. A niggling annoyance in the back of my head as I go about the day. I keep counting the days. I keep trying to figure out why I have these symptoms. A crappy diet over the holidays that messed up the delicate balance of hormones?  That could easily be the culprit. In fact, it probably is since I went on a "I'm eating to feel good" binge. Read: sugar!!!!! So the acid reflux is back, digestion has off, and certain parts of me hurt like a mofo.  None of it is normal. 

In about a week, I'll know that I'm having trouble recovering from a crappy diet and life will go on for another month. 

Before infertility, I would be excitedly waiting to POAS. I would be dreaming of having a bouncing baby. I would be worried about how my body would react to pregnancy. Now?  Occasionally, I get early pregnancy symptoms, when clearly, I can't get pregnant!  I can't wait for the cycle to be over.  I breathe a sigh of relief when it starts again. 

Parenting While Working

Seven Years