Hi, I’m Tara.

What started out as a private blog to document our adoption journey has evolved into my journey through therapy, spiritual awakening and whatever I feel like writing. Without our struggles to build a family, I’m not sure I’d be waking up, and for that I’m grateful.

The Hardest Part About Therapy

is learning that I can't fix a family relationship.  A close family member at that.  Now, it's all about limited and appropriate contact and what that means to preserve myself in order to improve what's there now.

It's really sad.

It was inevitable.

It sucks.

It was made worse by my infertility and adoption journey.  What that brought out in the relationship was the stark contrast of personalities.  One fiercely independent, the other codependent.  One willing to get down and dirty in the muck of shitty feelings in order to healthfully move through the shit, another who has swept everything under the rug for years.  One willing to attempt to share the journey and personal feelings about infertility and adoption, and another who can't handle the pain.  One who endured being treated like a child because the other just. can't. handle. it.

It's broken and it will never be fixed.  I hurt so bad.

Anxiety and Waiting

Monday Snapshot