Hi, I’m Tara.

What started out as a private blog to document our adoption journey has evolved into my journey through therapy, spiritual awakening and whatever I feel like writing. Without our struggles to build a family, I’m not sure I’d be waking up, and for that I’m grateful.

Lighter Fare - We're Matched!

The past several weeks have been trying to say the least.  We've been profiled 3 times that we know of, and I have to say, that's 3 times too many than I wanted to know.  It was so much easier with X, when they called us on a Thursday to ask a question, followed up on Friday and told us we'd been matched.    This has been almost a whole month of nail-biting.

It might be over.  After agreeing to be profiled again early last week, we got the call yesterday that we are matched with a baby boy, already born and in cradle care.  Unlike the failed placement last summer, this is less risk for us, but it's not completely gone yet.  His mother does not have the option to parent, but his father has to be served.  Hopefully we will know his intention in the next few days with regards to whether he will contest the adoption.  It's a small risk that he will, considering his past and present situation, but it's still there.

Neither S nor I feel like this is our baby...yet.  The failed match did a number on our faith in the caseworkers to read a situation and advise us properly.  I know it sounds like I'm blaming them for something that they really didn't know would happen.  Sometimes, you just have to take what someone tells you at face value, and we did that with D.  Still, I wish that our caseworker hadn't been so eager and optimistic.  Now, we are both shut down to a degree in order to protect ourselves should the baby's father decide he would like to parent.

We visited the baby, held him, fed him and I could totally be his mother.  I just don't know if I am yet.

How We Are Approaching a Match After a Failed Placement

Let's File This One Under