Hi, I’m Tara.

What started out as a private blog to document our adoption journey has evolved into my journey through therapy, spiritual awakening and whatever I feel like writing. Without our struggles to build a family, I’m not sure I’d be waking up, and for that I’m grateful.

Meeting for the First Time

She is so freaking cute.  Expectant mom, I mean.

We had our first meeting with her and it went really well.  She chose us because we are kind of in the science industry as she has interest in the sciences.  And did that show!  I felt immediately in tune with her thought processes and logic.

We, well, I mostly, talked about the failed match with last summer and how that is affecting our approach to this match.  While they are totally different situations, and this match is far more positive (in hindsight), it still remains that everything can change when the baby is born.

So, we'll see.  Expected due date is August 31.

I told my supervisor, because I was supposed to travel the week of the due date, but I have been able to pass that project to someone else.  I'm bummed about missing out on the opportunity to work on this particular dam, but I'll be able to stay involved a little bit by reviewing the report that comes out of it.  It's hard to balance my desire to work on some of these projects with the realities of family life. Supervisor is supposed to keep it quiet given the last two failures, but that remains to be seen.  He isn't the best at keeping information to himself.

We are thinking about names as she told us that she is not planning on nor has entertained any names.  It's funny how much our list has changed since we first started trying to come up with a list.

I don't have much to write because I'm feeling shut-down.  Anxiety is starting to rear its head, with tiny bursts of hopefulness.  Very tiny.  minuscule.  I'm not sure I'm going to feel much of anything other than anxiety until there is a baby in our house for good.

2nd Meeting...Not so Good?