Hi, I’m Tara.

What started out as a private blog to document our adoption journey has evolved into my journey through therapy, spiritual awakening and whatever I feel like writing. Without our struggles to build a family, I’m not sure I’d be waking up, and for that I’m grateful.

It's Not All Bad

It's the f-cking roller coaster that's bad. The void of information with one update a week when she goes to the doctor. The anxious checking of the phone, the not knowing what's happening.

And she freaking has her doctor's appointments in the afternoon.  Yes, she's still pregnant. Yes the plan is still in place. Yes she is unbelievably miserable. Yes there is a plan for induction if she doesn't go into labor this week.

Yes, I can teach the regularly scheduled Jazzercise class today anyway, since we know that today is not likely to result in a phone call to rush to the hospital.

Tomorrow it's back to nail biting and anxiety and trouble concentrating. Who am I kidding. This latest update didn't relieve much anxiety.  S asked me what could we do to make me feel better about this. Nothing. It needs to be over. This bullsh*t needs to end. I either have 2 kids or I don't.

Apart At the Seams Book Tour

Dread is Back