Hi, I’m Geochick.

Welcome to my blog. What started out as a private blog to document our adoption journey has evolved into my journey through therapy and spiritual awakening. Without our struggles to build a family, I’m not sure I’d be waking up, and for that I’m grateful.

Brain Dump

I'm reading Daring Greatly by Brene Brown, and it's one of the most difficult books I've ever read. Probably because the truths in the book about shame pull me into a glaring spotlight. I find it difficult to be vulnerable. I don't want the world to think I'm "weak". Everything I do must be perfect, therefore, I struggle to start or try new things. It's something I've been working on for a long time now and I've made some progress, but the underlying internal shaming exists. And so, I will continue to read bits at a time, digesting, thinking, and trying to move past the feelings I have while reading her words. Because, damn it, she has a way of writing that brings all the shitty feelings up.

At 2:30am this morning, my brain started writing while I was struggling to fall back asleep. I almost got up to write it down and then remembered that it would only make my day worse in the long run. I forced myself to stay in bed, finally falling asleep at 3:30a.

I'm f*cking tired.

I wanted to write a diatribe about a family member (maybe not the best idea). I wonder about someone who ignores his family, explodes in anger over small things to another family member and then presents a wholly different persona on-line. It’s staggering.




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