Hi, I’m Tara.

What started out as a private blog to document our adoption journey has evolved into my journey through therapy, spiritual awakening and whatever I feel like writing. Without our struggles to build a family, I’m not sure I’d be waking up, and for that I’m grateful.

Making Me Cry

I don't cry easily. I haven't had a sob-fest when dropping my kids off for daycare the first time, or when they transition rooms. I've felt a twinge of nostalgia and may tear up a little bit, but then I shake it off. I don't cry when my kids get clingy and don't want me to leave them at daycare either. I don't have especially clingy kids, but they go through their phases of not wanting to be left. It can be hard to leave, like this morning when Baby Z screamed as I handed him to his teacher and I could hear him screaming all the way down the hall. It's hard when that happens because normally, he runs into the room, greets his teacher with a sunny smile and then runs off to play, practically ignoring me. To be perfectly honest, I kind of dig it a little because mostly I'm like, hey, over here, remember me??? Can I get a little bye-bye wave for crying out loud?? It's nice to feel needed (and to know that he'll be perfectly fine once I've left the building.)

These things don't make me cry. Definitely nostalgia, but I like seeing my kids grow. It's fun and exciting and never a dull moment.

What makes me cry?

When I get a text at 11pm at night from my mom: I have sad news, I'll call you tomorrow.

I see it in the morning. Finally get a hold of her wondering which one of my relatives is dead, maimed or otherwise incapacitated. A cousin's girlfriend had a miscarriage at 4 months.

Certainly I can sympathize (but not empathize as I've never had a miscarriage) with how sad it is to lose a baby at 4 months. 

And that made me cry.

About This Boy Thing (all about kids)

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