Hi, I’m Tara.

What started out as a private blog to document our adoption journey has evolved into my journey through therapy, spiritual awakening and whatever I feel like writing. Without our struggles to build a family, I’m not sure I’d be waking up, and for that I’m grateful.

Less Weight Loss, More Eating - Part 2

Well from January, when I wrote the original post, to today, not a whole lot has changed, and I'm not happy with my lack of progress.

Once again, I spent a good portion of the summer on my bicycle, and while this summer I felt fueled and avoided overtraining, I only lost the 4 pounds that I had put on over the winter. Plus, I constantly struggle with hitting my macros, so while I tracked my little heart out, (195 days running on My Fitness Frenemy*!), I wasn't following ETP like I was supposed to and thus, don't have the results I want.

Funny thing happened after my century (100 mile) ride at the end of August. My weight literally skyrocketed the day after the ride, likely a result of water retention from sodium and stressed muscles, I gained 4 pounds overnight. Thinking it was the usual stressed body water retention, I patiently waited for my body to re-regulate and the weight to come down. I waited, and waited, and waited. It didn't come down. Currently, I'm still holding onto 3 of those pounds on any given day and the backslide has me so frustrated that I'm actually considering a run at something extreme like Whole 30. BUT, I know that I'm likely to bounce back up again at the end of it, so why be miserable for a month only to regain the weight during the holidays?

No, I have to track macros, and play the long game. Currently, I'm on a 7 day rhythm of Low, Super, Medium, Low, High, Medium, Medium. What does that look like? A whole lot of brain damage is what it looks like.

  • Low Day: Protein: 123g, Carbs: 142g, Fat: 67g = 1663 kCal
  • Medium Day: Protein: 123g, Carbs: 267g, Fat: 54g = 2046 kCal
  • High Day: Protein: 123g, Carbs: 292g, Fat: 54g = 2146 kCal
  • Super Day: Protein: 123g, Carbs: 292g, Fat: 67g = 2346 kCal

I have to put those days in my calendar so that I keep track of what's going on when. I could pay My Fitness Frenemy what I consider to be an exorbitant fee to put in my separate goals per day, but I'm not thrilled with the app as it is and I can't see shelling out money to use it.

I also use the ETP Trendsheets, which is like data, data and more data telling me how crappy I am at hitting those macros.


It's hard to hit all these numbers every day without pre-planning what to eat. I don't pre-plan, and I know that's one of my many issues. Willpower is another issue, as the stress wears on me day in and day out, I tend to have F**K it days often. Lately, my graphs are looking better, especially in the protein and carb categories. I struggle all the time to eat enough protein. I mean, I'm an omnivore, and I often can't stomach wolfing down 8 ounces of chicken in one sitting. So, I supplement with whey protein many days in order to try to hit that goal, especially when I'm traveling. These days, my bag is packed with a shaker bottle, whey protein measured out in baggies, protein bars, meat bars, jerky, whatever I can carry that's high protein, low carb and fat. Baby steps I guess.

Maybe one of these days, I can feel stable enough to come off of the S-S-R-I I'm on, that I'm pretty sure is one of weight-gain culprits. And maybe one of these days, I'll actually have a whole week where I hit all my macros spot on and start figuring out how to do it intuitively. They seem like unattainable goals at the moment though. Coming from a long line of obese women, I guess I should be proud that I have not ever reached that weight. I'm not, I'm terrified of becoming that woman given the genes and modeling that I've had over the course of a lifetime. 

*credit to Mel at Stirrup Queens. She used this once and I thought, how apt!

#MicroblogMondays - Evolving

Less Weight Loss, More Eating - Part 1