Even if She isn't a Narcissist....

I have avoidant attachment issues. I am accused of not having EI in my workplace. I tamp emotions down and explode when it becomes too much.  


Therapist isn't convinced that my mom is a narcissist, especially because she's never talked with her. Now she does acknowledge crappy attachment and cluelessness when it comes to my mom. So, if she's not a narcissist, and she did the best she could raising me, I still struggle a lot with the idea that I am completely screwed up emotionally because of her. I'm still angry and I haven't been able to get past that part. I know I need to find another therapist and I should have by now. Breaking up with a therapist is oddly hard to do.  

I have at least 3 options for therapists to check out and I've had their names and numbers for months.  

I guess my goal for myself by the end of the year is to break up with mine and have at least one appointment with the recommendations I've been given. 

Why is it so hard to make changes that I know I need?