I did it. I successfully had the Christmas that I wanted. Quiet, just my family, no drama.
My mother has not taken to my boundary very well, and despite me letting her know in October that I wanted the holidays to be with my family only, citing that I’m on a healing journey and I need to do this for myself, she’s been pushing. About every 3 weeks, there’s something. First, on Halloween, she texted S asking for pictures of the boys and if they could watch them sometime. He didn’t reply. Then about mid-November, she sent me an e-mail asking about us bringing the boys over or all of us coming over for an early Thanksgiving meal. I wrote her back, again acknowledging it may be hard for her and it’s hard for me too, but that even though I tried not to get to this point, ultimately I did and this is how it is. A week before Christmas, she sent me a text asking if I want to get coffee “after the holidays”. I blocked her. Also, S has set up a weekend in January to bring the boys over to their house (leaving me out of the equation…he’s awesome).
Each time these have come, it’s helped to strengthen my resolve to do things my way. Clearly, she can’t respect a very clear boundary that’s been set. I think a reasonable person could understand that. Oh, wait, a reasonable person has healthy boundaries, she does not.
So, with all that swirling in the background, we carried on. We went to the mountains for 3 nights to go skiing and relax. Well, relax’ish because ages 4 and 7 aren’t exactly relaxing types of ages. There was a lot of movie watching! We had a great time skiing, and came home Christmas Eve. I ran to the store in the thick of the madness to grab a few things for our Christmas dinner and then we spent the afternoon unpacking and getting ready for Christmas.
Oh, I should probably mention here that X was asking so many pointed questions about ol’ Santa, that I decided to take care of the myth. A was also involved in the conversation and well, I’m pretty unsentimental about the whole thing. Friends of mine are somewhat aghast that I would not make the 7 year old play along, but they don’t know my kid. In the 4 tendencies, I’m seeing him as a Rebel. The kid doesn’t do anything unless it makes sense to him, and since I’m an Obliger I have a really hard time coming up with ideas to entice him. I was on the fence about whether we should play Santa from the beginning, so it’s somewhat of a relief that it’s over. Now the Elf on the Shelf? He actually had a more difficult time with that…anyway, we carried on with the Elf for the fun of it. Maybe he’ll make an appearance next year since it’s kind of fun for us too.
Christmas morning we were able to sleep all the way to 6:20!!! That’s like sleeping in on Christmas! They opened gifts (done well before 7am of course) and we set upon our lazy day of nothing to do and nowhere to go. It was so relaxing. I made a big breakfast, and we just kind of kicked around the house. S and I finally got our gym together in the basement, which involved taking over what was the kids’ playroom (they’ll get the smaller room now) and purging some toys. Again, movies man, best thing when you’re trying to sneak their toys for donation out of the house in a giant trash bag. In the late afternoon, we prepped for our dinner of fondue, had a relatively relaxing fondue dinner experience. X didn’t eat, instead he read his newest Dog Man book at the table (:/) and A was pretty into the whole fondue thing so that was cool. We didn’t end up making it to dessert as they were really tired by the time dinner finished, and X insisted on us playing Twister for a little bit. So not fun on a full stomach and wine (or hilarious, depends on your outlook). After getting them to bed, we attempted to stay up to watch A Christmas Story, which lasted about 45 minutes before we passed out too.
Uneventful. Peaceful. Relaxing.
How it should be.