Hi, I’m Tara.

What started out as a private blog to document our adoption journey has evolved into my journey through therapy, spiritual awakening and whatever I feel like writing. Without our struggles to build a family, I’m not sure I’d be waking up, and for that I’m grateful.

Yet Another Modality - Network Chiropractic

One of the things SG strongly encouraged me to do was go to a network chiropractor. I rejected his suggestion, especially when I found out I’d have to go 3x a week for a few months. Ugh. Then, the left side of my body completely rejected the stretch, locked up and I was in pain for a solid week. That gave SG an opening to plead with me to try his chiropractor because as he put it, “I’m keeping you functional. We aren’t making progress.” That kind of argument, the one that appeals to my sense of logic, is one that I can’t resist. I caved. If it didn’t work, it’s just money, right? (a pile of money, but just money). I talked with Therapist #3 about it, and it turns out she knows who Dr. M is and also encouraged me to go see him. There you have it, two professionals who don’t know each other encouraging me to see the same person. Well, ok then.

My first appointment with Dr. M was a typical patient intake. I filled out medical history forms, he sat down with me to talk about my answers and then he examined my back. He asked what my upbringing was like and after I told him about my mom he kind of laughed and said yep, that’s it. His conclusion is that my body is stuck in fright-flight meaning my sympathetic nervous system is constantly on and my parasympathetic nervous system (the one that calms you down) doesn’t work. I got x-rays on my neck and went in a couple days later for a follow-up and to start treatment. My neck x-rays show my neck is extended and my head pushed forward and he talked about all the subluxations in my cervical spine (mis-alignment of the vertebrae), which I can’t find any reference to except in the chiropractic world so I take that with a boulder of salt. Anyway, then he did an adjustment on my back and talked me through it so that I could get used to how it works. It is WEIRD. He barely touches my back, and does none of the traditional chiropractic adjustments. The adjustments feel like brushing, or a slight push on muscles along the spine.  Then he walks away for a couple minutes, comes back, checks the back again and does it again in the same areas or different areas depending on what he observes. This goes on for about a half hour. The idea is to encourage my back muscles to learn how to relax.  I am fully aware that this could be quackery, but after all the weird things that have been happening with my body, I’m on-board with the idea of the mind-body connection profoundly affecting my life and causing health issues.

When I went back to SG after a month of doing the network, he was practically giddy about the fact that my back no longer felt like a brick wall to him. It’s not even that much better and I still keep having problems with my neck and shoulders. I’ve felt like depression is worse too. I haven’t really recovered from the downward spiral I had over vacation and over the past week I’ve made the decision to go back up to a full dose of cel.exa. It wasn’t the time to try to stop as it turns out.

I’ve been seeing Dr. M for about two months now and I can attest that something is happening. I’ve been crying at random times, and now that I’ve started back up with yoga tearing up during savasana is a regular thing. I seem to be having weird dreams, although they aren’t vivid so I’m not remembering them. Lately, on the chiropractic table, sensations are getting stronger. A couple of times I flat out fell asleep. That would be fine except for the part that lying on my stomach in a face cradle, I totally snore myself awake, and with other patients in the room, I’m super self-conscious. Now I’m actively trying NOT to fall asleep. A couple of times I felt waves moving through my body, which was one of the oddest sensations I’ve ever felt during any kind of work. Most of the time, I get bored and worry about face cradle creases.

I've had a follow-up discussion with Dr. M and he says my back is looser, but I'm still having trouble working out. I haven't been able to lift weights for months and my hands go numb when I bike. It's so frustrating and I just want to be better. Patience is not one of my strong points.


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