After riding the roller coaster of depression, anxiety and feeling ok for a few weeks, I decided I need an updated system. There’s been many challenges and an episode where I’ve made a big decision and rode out the emotional ramifications.
The big news is that I quit my gym. I loved that place for almost a year, and then coaches left, people left, the program changed. I hung in there for several months, but it didn’t feel the same, plus I was still getting injured and staying injured. I finally pulled the plug when I realized I was being triggered because I felt I was being ignored when I reached out for help with how to approach my workouts given my back and neck were in a state of jacked-up-ness on the regular. I forfeited 2 weeks and quit in the middle of the month.
I had been triggered by them while in a state of depression, was feeling a lot of anger at the same time, and felt like my decision was knee-jerk until this happened: Therapist #3’s reaction to the decision was to point out it was a huge step to recognize my worthiness and leave. And she told me she was proud of me for being able to recognize what I need.
Anyway, to capture what I went through during and after that, I’ve tweaked some of my ratings. I realized I need an anxiety rating because I definitely vacillate between depression and anxiety.
really really bad 😩
can’t get out of bed ☹️
flooded - angry and/or crying, non-functional 🤬😭
numb, emotions shut down but functioning 😶
Meh. Going thru motions 😐
Anxious, jittery 😬
pretty good 🙂
feeling well and meaning it. 😊