I realized that in writing about Soul Speaks by weeks, I’m being confusing. It’s mostly by session really since we’re going every other week. Oh well...
This week, this is what people saw in me:
Mesmerizing, fabulous, brave, strong, inspiring, vibrant, engaging, brilliant, honest, stunning, daring, deep, wise, rich, powerful, soulful, passionate, soft, generous, beautiful, radiant, Rock steady, tender touch, vulnerable and powerful, infectious brightness, a seed holds all of the universe’s potential, blooming, simultaneously grounded and open, the joy of a 1000 people (in my smile), incredible happiness, beyond
Today was about courage, and damn, I’m now embracing courage and doing the things that scare me. I talked about things that scare me in this session, these are them:
- I ended up writing to SG about the things I couldn’t speak. I realized that I was struggling to tell him to his face what had actually occurred for me over the 2 years we’ve been working together. It was so much easier to write it out in person. I got a positive response back, and I also feel like I need time to process, that I can’t keep pushing forward with all this healing stuff as fast as I wish I could.
- I talked about the latest school shooting and how my reaction to it now is different than it would have been in the past. I feel more sadness for the people who I wonder if we’ve failed as a society. The people who feel so broken that they commit heinous crimes. I also feel like I’m screaming into the void and I’m fed up.
Yeah, that’s what I talked about and all those things were said to me that people saw in me as I stood in front of them.
I keep getting this image of “almost” being there. Being ready to explode as in a bottle rocket, a jack in the box, a seed turning into a flower. It was hard to take that in and then I twisted it into, “What if the bottle rocket is never lit?” I think the past couple of weeks have shown me that I need to trust the process, I’m getting there, there isn’t a timeline, I need to slow down and not force my transformation.
It doesn’t have to be a fight.
I can transform with grace.
It will come.
It’s here, people are already seeing it.