First S’s family, then mine. After being home from Iowa for a few days, X and I hopped on another plane and flew to Washington, D.C. with my family. I discovered 2 days before we were supposed to leave that I hadn’t actually bought the plane tickets.
Someone wasn’t feeling it.
Luckily the fares hadn’t gone up much and it was easily fixable. The next several days were pretty good in the kind of way where everything is the same as it always was and I spent a lot of energy trying to stay grounded. We went to an awards ceremony, walked the National Mall and went to a couple of the museums.
I’m exhausted and my neck is jacked up. I went to a yoga class tonight and feeling overwhelmed as I settled into my space almost started crying before the class started.
Before leaving for Iowa, I felt light and grounded and really good (9/10). Now, I’m at 5/10 and dropping, just hoping to get through the week.
Clearly, I’ve got some shit to work through, and the worst part of this is that I can’t even work through it in this space because it’s not feeling safe anymore. That’s a whole other thing I’m working through since people I know in real life are now reading my blog. I’m not so sure that it was a good move and I’m feeling strangled by my identity.