I’ve been blogging for over 10 years: adoption, infertility, family crap, grief, therapy, career, how I feel about myself. It’s pretty much all in here. For most of those years, I was relatively anonymous, my friends and family didn’t know I had a blog and even if I told them I did, I’d brush off with a next remark, “Oh, it’s just about adoption and infertility” as if to say, “No big deal, it’s not really important.” I went through several periods of wondering why I was still writing, leaving this space for a while when I felt like I had nothing to say, but always coming back to it, keeping it alive even as I saw other bloggers I loved slowly stop writing themselves. At the time I couldn’t tell you why I kept writing, only that I found it cathartic and I felt safe hiding in plain sight. Events over the past couple of years or so have led to me not only wanting to continue to share my story, but to do it in a more public way. It’s scary, really, really scary for me to begin to think that I can inspire anyone after spending so much of my life trying to stay invisible and small even as it was obvious that’s not who I am. So, come on in, stay a while, dive back in time using the tags that sound interesting. It’s a trip, a messy, sometimes ugly, sometimes beautiful, never boring and often not grammatically correct, trip.
Me (aka Geochick, aka Tara) - 40-something, (what!?) civil engineer, wife, adoptive mom, introvert/extrovert, ranty, former ballerina, former Jazzercise instructor, lifts heavy’ish things, yoga student, skier, road cyclist
S - 40-something mechanical engineer, patient husband, adoptive dad, introvert, mountain biker, skier, lifts heavy things, sometimes road cyclist
X - Oldest son, adopted at birth, analytical, athletic, extrovert, Asian Indian and Mexican
C - X's first mother, Asian Indian, open adoption
Baby Z - Younger son, adopted at birth, bubbly, mover, risk-taker, extrovert, White
J and J - Baby Z's first parents, semi-open letters-only adoption
Bio-Dad - Divorced from Mom when I was 4. Never really knew him.
Uncle B - Bio-Dad’s brother who called me at work one day, 40 years after mom and bio-dad divorced.
Uncle J - Bio-Dad’s brother. Was unsure about contacting me and L after his wife found my information online.
Therapist #1 - Catalyst for me starting to realize I need to address messed up family dynamics in my family. Moved out of country after 2 years seeing her. 2012-2014
Therapist #2 (Dr. D) - 2 years with her was rough and too clinical, but helped me realize the type of care I need. 2015-2017
Therapist #3 - EMDR and trauma specialist. LOVE her. 2017-
SG - The person I will forever be grateful to for recognizing how trauma was affecting my body. Mentor as I move through healing. 2017-
Dr. M - Network Chiropractor. Helping my body release tension and making this transformation easier(?) 2018-